Born Into Separation: Why No Baby Should Be Left for Daycare at 6 Weeks
America is the only wealthy nation that doesn't guarantee paid maternity leave— This post explores how early separation harms babies, the science behind the mother-baby bonding, and our national wellbeing—and why its time we demand better.
MOTHER-BABY BONDMATERNITY LEAVE ADVOCACYPOSTPARTUM AND INFANT MENTAL HEALTHATTACHMENT AND EARLY DEVELOPMENT
5/20/20254 min read
Imagine being a baby in a strange new world—helpless, 100% dependent on one person: your mother. Then, just weeks after you’re born, she’s gone for 8 hours a day, every day, to go to work—something you can’t even begin to comprehend.
You’re left with strangers at daycare or even loving family members, but it doesn’t matter. Your one person—your entire world—is gone.
A baby doesn’t understand time. A baby doesn’t understand work. To a baby, when their mother leaves, she’s just… gone.
Can you imagine how scary that must feel to a newborn? That’s the emotional reality for countless babies in America.
And it’s not just emotional—it’s developmental.
Babies need their mother to form a secure attachment. Renowned psychoanalyst and parenting expert Erica Komisar argues that mothers should ideally have maternity leave for three years—because that’s how long it takes for a child’s brain to fully form the foundation for emotional and social development.
In her book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, she explains that those early years are critical for shaping a child’s ability to trust, regulate emotions, and build healthy relationships for life.
By separating mothers and babies, we’re not just creating distress in infancy—we’re planting the seeds for anxiety, depression, and insecure attachment that children bring into adulthood.
America's Biggest Public Health Crisis
We're seeing a rise in mental health struggles among both children and adults in America. Could part of the root be that we're not prioritizing what every child needs most in the first three critical years of life? A mother. Her time. Her care. Her presence.
And it’s not just babies who suffer. The pressure to return to work prematurely increases rates of postpartum depression and anxiety in mothers. According to the CDC, 1 in 8 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression—and that’s among those who report it. Lack of rest, healing time, and support only makes recovery harder.
The truth is: our national neglect of families isn’t just inconvenient—it’s a public health crisis.
If America truly cared about babies, we would give them—and their mothers—the one thing every other wealthy nation already does: paid maternity leave.
Let’s Talk Facts:
• It takes at least 6 weeks for a mother’s body to physically heal after childbirth.
• A baby is a newborn for the first 3 months of life.
• The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, and ideally up to two years.
• A mother’s hormones don’t fully stabilize until 2 years postpartum.
And yet—what does America offer?
• No national paid maternity leave.
• Only the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which provides 12 weeks of unpaid leave.
FMLA only covers:
• Federal workers
• Employees who’ve worked 12 months for companies with 50+ employees
Freelancers? Part-timers? Employees at small businesses? You’re out of luck.
What Other Countries Offer
Canada
• Up to 18 months of leave
• 55% of salary up to a cap, or a lower rate for longer duration
• Funded through Employment Insurance (1–2% payroll tax)
Norway
• 49 weeks at 100% pay, or 59 weeks at 80%
• Shared between parents, with a required quota for each
• Paid through public social security
Sweden
•480 days (16 months) per child
• 80% pay for 390 days
• Remaining days paid at flat rate
• Parents split the time
• Funded through taxes
Finland
• 320 days (160 per parent)
• Paid through Kela, Finland’s social insurance system
~70–90% of wages
France
• 16 weeks at ~90–100% pay
• More weeks for complications or 3+ children
• Paid by public health insurance
United Kingdom
• 52 weeks total (39 paid)
• First 6 weeks: 90% of earnings
• Remaining 33: flat rate (~£172/week)
• Employers pay; government reimburses
Germany
• 14 weeks at 100% pay
• 12–14 months of partially paid parental leave
• Funded through health insurance & family benefit systems
States That Stepped Up: U.S. State Paid Leave Programs
California:
Up to 8 weeks, 60–70% of wages
New Jersey:
Up to 12 weeks, up to 85% of wages
New York:
12 weeks, 67% of wages
Rhode Island:
6 weeks, ~60% of wages
Washington:
Up to 18 weeks, up to 90% of income
Massachusetts:
Up to 12–20 weeks, up to 80% of wages
Connecticut:
12 weeks, up to 95% for low-income earners
Oregon:
12 weeks, up to 100% for lowest earners
Colorado:
12 weeks, launched in 2024
All of these are funded by a small payroll tax shared between employers and employees—just like we do for Social Security and Unemployment Insurance. It’s possible, affordable, and long overdue.
If We Want Healthy Citizens, We Start at Birth
If we want emotionally resilient, socially strong, mentally stable citizens, we must start at the beginning—with the mother-baby bond. That bond is the foundation of a thriving, stable society. We must treat it like the national priority it is.
It is not radical to support babies and mothers. What’s radical is separating them in the name of economic productivity.
I’m speaking up for:
• Babies who can’t speak
• Mothers too overwhelmed to speak
• And the women too afraid to even become mothers because they won’t be guaranteed time to heal, bond, and simply be with their baby.
Let’s stop pretending this is a debate about luxury.
It’s about humanity, health, and justice—for the smallest citizens among us.
When we invest into babies and families, we all win.
Resources:
Mother-Baby Bond & Attachment
Harvard University - Center on the Developing Child
Serve and Return Interaction Shapes Brain Architecture
→ Explains how early interactions with caregivers build brain architecture.
National Institutes of Health (NIH)
Attachment and the Regulation of the Right Brain
→ Deep research into how early attachment affects emotional regulation.
Zero to Three
The Importance of Early Attachments
→ Focuses on how secure attachment impacts lifelong development.
Maternal Mental Health
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
→ States that 1 in 8 women experience postpartum depression (likely underreported).
National Library of Medicine
Paid Maternity Leave and Maternal Mental Health
→ Found that paid leave significantly reduces postpartum depression symptoms.
American Psychological Association (APA)
The Critical Need for Paid Family Leave
→ Details psychological risks of separating mothers and infants too soon.
International Maternity Leave Policies
OECD Family Database
→ Global comparison of paid leave durations and wage replacement.
UNICEF
Are the world’s richest countries family friendly?
→ Ranks wealthy countries by support for families, including parental leave.
World Policy Analysis Center (UCLA)
Global database on maternity and paternity leave
→ Excellent source for comparing maternity leave policies worldwide.
U.S. Leave Gaps & Policy Failures
U.S. Department of Labor – FMLA Overview
→ Shows the limitations of U.S. unpaid leave policy.
National Partnership for Women & Families
→ Offers fact sheets and policy breakdowns.
Pew Research Center
U.S. Lags Behind Peers in Paid Parental Leave
→ A trusted source for public policy comparison.