Dating as a Single Mom: How Motherhood Gave Me Standards
Motherhood changed everything about how I date. At 30, with my daughter by my side, I no longer ignore red flags or settle for less. Becoming a mom game me boundaries, self-respect, and the courage to walk away from anything that threatens our peace. It's not just about me anymore—its about protecting the life we're building together.
SINGLE MOTHERHOODDATING AS A MOMSELF-WORTH AND RELATIONSHIPSLIFE AFTER LEAVINGMOTHERHOOD CHANGED MEMOTHERHOODMOTHERHOOD AND BOUNDARIES
6/4/20252 min read
Dating is different now that I have a baby.
Motherhood changed me in the best of ways.
It gave me clarity.
It gave me boundaries.
It gave me standards.
It gave me self-respect.
It woke me up.
I’m no longer interested in fixing people, waiting for them to change, or convincing anyone to love me right.
Now, when I see a red flag, I don’t hesitate. I cut someone off immediately—and I don’t explain why.
I’m no longer overly sympathetic or endlessly understanding.
Because it’s not just about me anymore.
It’s about us. Me and my baby.
I will not allow just anyone to come into our lives and disrupt the peace we’ve created.
If someone wants to be in our world, they need to be deeply grounded and emotionally mature.
I know I deserve someone great, and she does too.
My daughter is not going to grow up watching a man mistreat me.
She won’t be around bad behavior, drugs, alcohol, or someone who puts her mother down.
That’s why I got rid of her father.
Before, I stayed in relationships because I didn’t want to be lonely.
But I’m not that woman anymore.
Now, I have purpose. I have her.
Truthfully, I never really dated with intention before my daughter.
And now, at 30, I’m learning how to date in a new way.
If someone wants to be in my life, they have to show real interest—
Not just compliment my appearance or message me late at night.
They have to care about who I am, what I believe in, what I’m building.
They need to be consistent.
If they really like me, they’ll show up.
I’m clear: I don’t have time to text a bunch of guys.
So I say it up front: “Let’s meet for a quick coffee to see if there’s a real connection.”
And I only allow men near me who make me feel safe in their presence.
Other than that, I’m not rushing into anything.
I have peace and love at home