Leaving an Abusive Relationship After Having a Baby: My Story of Choosing Peace
Becoming a mother gave me the strength to walk away from a toxic relationship. This is a story of choosing peace over pain, and breaking the cycle for my daughter.
HEALING AFTER ABUSEMOTHERHOOD AND BOUNDARIESBREAKING THE CYCLESINGLE MOTHER STRENGTHTOXIC RELATIONSHIP AND RECOVERYCHOOSING PEACEMOTHERHOOD SAVED ME
6/4/20252 min read
I used to believe that if two people had a baby, they had to stay together.
I wanted to give my daughter what I never had — parents who stayed.
So while I was pregnant, I tried so hard to make a bad relationship work.
After she was born, things felt steady for a while. But just a few months in, everything went back — the disappearing, the lies, the drugs, the drinking, the disrespect.
He wouldn’t answer my calls. He stayed out all night. He belittled me.
And when he was home, he drank.
But this time,
I didn’t cry.
I didn’t beg.
I had already survived that chaos for nine months while pregnant.
He didn’t want a baby — and he abused me because of it.
And I, terrified of being alone, kept trying to persuade him to be a family.
He put me through so much misery and intentional hurt while I was pregnant…
and I should’ve let go sooner.
Now that my daughter was here, I saw everything clearly.
I had her — and she gave me a peace I had never known.
And in that peace, I realized:
I deserved better.
We deserve better.
My mother and sister told me to stay — that raising a baby alone would be hard.
But staying in a home filled with yelling, hurt, and instability was harder.
That was not going to be my daughter’s normal.
She was not going to see a man yell at me and call me names.
So I kicked her father out a week before Christmas, and it was jolly.
It took me a long time to break free.
I was pregnant and scared of being alone.
But my love for my baby gave me the strength to do what I couldn’t do before.
I left an abusive relationship because she showed me what real love meant.
Leaving was love.
Breaking the pattern was love.
It’s been six months now.
And I don’t feel an ounce of regret.
I am genuinely happy without him here.
A friend told me when I was pregnant:
“When that baby gets here, the relationship won’t matter anymore—all that will is the baby.”
And she was right.
When Nova was born and things went back — I was done.
My daughter became everything to me.
He doesn’t pay child support and hasn't come around.
And honestly, I’d rather have nohelp than ever have him near me or my daughter again.u